LESSONS LEARNED

I can not believe I am home.  My time in India, Nepal and Bhutan seemed to pass in the blink of an eye.  I wasn't able to blog from the road  (because of web connections) - but I still want to write about the adventure.  So many lessons learned, so many amazing sites seen, so many beautiful people met.  I truly feel blessed.
This trip represented SO much to me.  First, it was a chance to spend a GREAT deal of time with my Mother.  We often reflected on just how many things had to fall into place in order for us to spend this time together.  I had to be able to take six plus weeks away from my "Alaska-life", Mom's health had to be well enough to travel and of course, it would be wrong not to mention that we had to have the finances to do it.  Our karma ripened at just the right time to make this trip possible.
This trip was also a testament to the positive power of social media.  So many of the people we spent time with were friends I had met on FACEBOOK.  Our face-to-face meetings were more joyful than I ever could have imagined.
Many friends have asked me what is the thing I will remember most from the trip.  Ummmm, EVERYTHING!!  Every second - even the "bad' ones - are seconds I wouldn't trade for anything. Perhaps the better question might be "What did I learn?"

• TRUST is something to be earned, not something to be given away.  

I am a very trusting person....admittedly at times to a fault.  This lesson was learned *NOT* because I met someone untrustworthy - but because I realized without trust in a relationship - you truly have nothing.  Trust is the foundation of which all other blocks of a relationship are built.  If that foundation is built too quickly - chances are it won't last.

• I need to FOCUS my attention. Otherwise known as "Yeah, you aren't an expert at multi-tasking, you're just scattered."

It is scientifically proven that your brain can not focus on more than one thing at a time.  For 25 years in the television news business - I tried to prove that fact wrong.  But now that I am "out" - I realize I can't give my energy to everything at once.  It's not respectful to the people and events that truly need/deserve my attention.

• MEDITATION NEEDS to be part of my daily life.

Enough said.

• You can't explain KARMIC connections - just enjoy them.

I mentioned  this trip was a testament to the power of social media.  Out of the millions of people on FACEBOOK, I have been blessed to have re-connected with some very old, old, old friends and family.  How can I explain the fact that I felt soooo comfortable with people I had met face to face for the first time?  I can't.  All I know is that I am blessed to have found them again.

INDIA - THE GREAT EGO REDUCER

It is hard to believe we have been in India for six days.  After an 18 hour flight, those first few days are kind of a blur. But, I can say this - despite the 'craziness' that is Delhi, I feel surprisingly comfortable here.  Not sure if Mom could say the same.

Our first few days in town, we stayed in the Tibetan section of Delhi called Majnu Ka Tilla.  It was here we had our first cup of butter tea, consulted with a Tibetan Doctor and tasted food SO hot - I seriously thought my lips might develop blisters.

We are visiting in somewhat of  an "off" tourist season, there aren't too many Westerners here.  It is hard not to feel "different" when people are staring at you.  And I mean really staring at you.  A few times, I had to ask Tsultrim if  I had something on my face, or perhaps something hanging out of my nose.  "No', he replied.  "People just aren't used to seeing too many people like you."

As different as our looks may be - our requests appear  even more bizarre. Like the idea of towels.  I had seen a laundry basket outside of our guest room - so when we were done getting ready that first morning I told Mom I thought we were suppose to put our dirty towels in the basket.  I'm sure that is what we were suppose to do - but not until we checked out.  Despite Mom trying her best to ask for another towel, we never got one.  We finally just bought some at the market.

Our second day we woke up very early and headed to Rewalsar.  And by early,  I mean four am...in the car....ready to go.  Rewalsar is an important pilgrimage sight for Buddhist.  It is the birthplace of Guru Rinpoche, recognized as a second Buddha who spread Buddhism to Tibet.  The beauty there is breathtaking, the spiritual energy is near indescribable.  After a ten hour drive that could only be considered miraculous that we arrived alive, ( we seriously had one of the BEST drivers in all of India - it was the other drivers that scared the poop out of us) , we were happy to get out of the car.

Our first stop was Guru Rinpoche's cave.  Mom stretched her legs, but didn't want to walk up to the cave.  So Tsultrim and I headed up the hill with prayer flags and incense as offerings.

As Tsultrim climbed up the pole to hang our flags, I sat on the ground and started to pray.  Within seconds, tears were streaming down my face.  I am so grateful to be here, so moved by the experience I found myself crying uncontrollably.   I open my eyes and saw a white dog had sat down next to me. That dog stayed by my side for the remainder of our visit. 

Everyone has been very open to have their picture taken.  Out of respect, I ask if it is OK to take a picture before I do - but one Lama at Zigar Monastery didn't give me the chance.  With Tsultrim as our translator Lama Phuntsok asked if I would take his picture.  Now - I think I can take a pretty good picture.  Here's the first one I took of Lama.

I thought it was a nice shot - with the old prayer wheel in the back and that beautiful smile on his face.  Apparently not.
"Aggggggghhhhhhhh!!  No, no no.  Take another one.  Show more of me."
So I backed up....and took another shot.

"Agggggghhhhhhh!  This one is worse.  Where are my SHOES.  Tell her she is a bad photographer."
Tsultrim look over at me and laughed, "Lama says you are a bad photographer.  He wants to be able to see his shoes...and he want you to make him look taller."
FINALLY, a shot was taken that made Lama happy.

So, my first lesson in EGO reduction.  No matter how good you  may think you are at something - someone will ALWAYS want some different.

The second blow to my ego came on the streets of Delhi.  I LOVE and I do mean LOVE to put q-tips in my ears.  I have a very special relationship with a Korean Ear-Pick, it's one of the things I just had to bring on this trip.  So when I saw someone cleaning ears  - I was all in.

He looks around in my ears and says something in Hindi that I obviously can't understand.  Tsultrim looks at me...."He says your ears are quite dirty."  Ahhhhh, OK.  Here is a man who cleans ears in DELHI...on the STREETS.....and he says my ears look dirty, hehehehehe.  So now, I am the bad American photographer with dirty ears.  But the best was yet to come.  And believe me - there would be NO photographs from this experience.

Tsultrim asked if I wanted to get a Chupa made.  A chupa is a traditional Tibetan dress.  Again, I was ALL in.   So we head over to the fabric store to pick out material.  A man comes in and takes my measurements - just my height and my arm length.  After the fabric was cut - we ran to another store where the person is actually going to make the chupa.  And he starts taking my measurements....ALL my measurements right there on the street.  He gets to my hips.  I am not a small person - nor do I have the figure of a stick.  I like to think of myself as a CURVY YETI.  :-)  He says something in Hindi.  And Tsultrim just laughs.  

"What?  What did he say?"

"He said you have a BIG BUM."

OMB!!!!  I am the BAD American photographer with DIRTY EARS and a BIG BUM.  Hehehehehe.  Let me tell you - in our short time here, India has given me several wonderful opportunities to reduce my ego!!!

EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER.

Blessing from a Saddu in Nepal 2011

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore. Dream. Discover. " ~Mark Twain 

 For two and a half years now,  I have been dreaming of going back to Nepal.  I can not believe my journey "back" is just around the corner.  It is so hard NOT to have expectations when you are traveling to someplace you have been before.  When Richard and I landed in Kathmandu back in 2011, I KNEW it was going to be a life-changing adventure for me.  As the plane touched down, I heard a small voice from somewhere deep in my soul whispering, "Welcome Home."  The entire trip felt like a "home-coming" for me.  Of course, there is a part of me expecting to feel that same way this time around.  But I have found expectations, more often than not, can lead to disappointment.  So now, as I start to pack my suitcase, the one thing I am trying to leave behind are those expectations of what might happen - how things might be - how this trip might change me or Mom.  Instead, I am opening myself up to allow the adventure to unfold exactly how it is meant to - not necessarily how I want it to.  As my dear friend told me, "We are travelers, not tourists."

"Travel compels you to discover your spiritual side by simple elimination.  Without all the rituals, routines and possessions that give your life meaning at home, you're forced to look for meaning within yourself." ~Rolf Potts

Last Minute Lessons.....and I DO mean LAST MINUTE

According to my "highly organized, color-coded" travel calendar one-sheet (the one I have been working on for the past three and a half months)  Mom and I are suppose to be meeting in Seattle tomorrow and then jumping on a plane Monday afternoon to head to INDIA.  Oh, how wonderful it all looks...ON PAPER.   With the clock truly clicking down to the last minute, we found out yesterday Mom's travel visa to India has been caught up in some red tape and will NOT arrive in time for us to make our flight.  I suddenly realize - the idea that I can control anything (other than my reaction to things) has no more value than that piece of paper my "high organized, color-coded travel calendar one-sheet" is printed on.
How well did I control my reaction to this news?  Sadly - not well.  Let's see - I cried...then froze....cried again...and stared blankly at my "highly organized color coded.... " well you get the idea. Oh my goodness....how many flights am I going to have to reschedule?  How many hotel reservations? What about my friends who are taking time out of their lives to meet us at a certain place on a certain date?  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?    Why is this happening to ME?  WHY, WHY, WHY?  I must say....I DO have that victim drama thing down pretty well, hehehehe.
You know what?  Every last one of my Tibetan friends, my Indian friends, my Bhutanese friends told me the exact same thing....."No worries.  We will be waiting for you when you get here."
So now, just 24 hours after I was sitting here in tears - ALL the flights are re-booked....all the hotels are rescheduled.....and all the tears are dried.  AND - if I am SMART I will have learned a lesson from this. The idea that we control anything (again, other than ourselves) is a mere illusion.  At the end of the day, everything will be exactly as it should be.

Something might be missing!!!

Just 28 days now until Mom and I leave for our BIG adventure.  And in 59 days, we will be in Varanasi where this picture was taken almost 120 years ago.
Varanasi is one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world.  It is the holiest city for Hindus. For thousands of years, the faithful have brought the bodies of their loved ones here to be cremated, the ashes are then placed into the Ganges River.  It is said that if you die in Varanasi,  you are immediately released from the endless cycle of death and re-birth.  While you are living, you can wash away all of your sins by taking a dip in the holy river.  Yep, it's a pretty special place.
So, it didn't surprise me in the least when my dear friend Dorjee (who will be traveling with me and Mom for the majority of our time in India) suggested I take some of my father's ashes on our trip and sprinkle them in the Ganges.  That's what his family had done after his mother died in Darjeeling.  I thought it was a GREAT idea.
On my recent trip to Kansas, I floated the idea by Mom.  I had already prepared her that we would be seeing bodies in various stages of cremation.
"Hey - ummmmm - you know, Varanasi is considered to be one of the holiest cities in the world."
"Really?"
"Yeah...it is.  In fact, Hindus believe you can wash away all of your sins by taking a dip in the river there."
She turned to look at me.  "With partially cremated bodies floating by?"
"Yeah, I guess we can just kind of look the other way.  Buuuuut I was thinking.....maybe we could take some of Dad's ashes over with us and sprinkle them in the Ganges....that would be pretty incredible."
Her brow furrowed and in a similar tone I used with her when I told her I would NOT be wearing "disposable underwear" (see previous entries, hehehehe) she replied,
"NO WAY!!  When I get to heaven and see your Dad, I want him to have ALL his 'parts'...I don't want him missing an arm because we sprinkled it in the Ganges River."
I burst out laughing.  Bless her heart.

We WILL be changed by what we see.

We are now just 55 days from leaving on our adventure.  And I am just a few days away from heading down to Kansas to make sure Mom has everything set for the trip.  Not just the things she needs to pack - but I want to start talking about some of the "difficult" things we might see. 

Boudhanath

 Yesterday morning, a Tibetan monk self-immolated at Boudhanath, the large stupa in the middle of Kathmandu.  While we are in Kathmandu, we'll be staying within walking distance of  Boudhanath.  I wanted to make sure we were close enough so we could circumambulate the stupa every morning and evening while we are there.  

The Tibetan issue is a difficult one for me to summarize in just a few short sentences in this blog.  More than 120 Tibetans have self immolated since 2009, many in hopes of drawing attention to the suffering inside Tibet at the hands of Communist China.  It is an issue that is close to my heart- not only as a Buddhist and the repression of religious freedom - but as a human and the repression of human rights.  It is also a vivid reminder that as I am getting more and more excited for our trip with every passing day - there are people our world just struggling to survive.  How will we feel when we see the unimaginable poverty in India? How will we react to seeing a level of hardship and suffering that we can't even comprehend? More importantly, how will these images change us?  

But.....what are we going to WEAR?

Why does it seem many of the conversations Mom and I have about our upcoming trip seem to focus on what we are going to wear?  From underwear to outerwear.  Our conversation this morning:

"Staci, explain to me again how much we need to pack."
"Well, we are each going to take one carry-on bag.  That's it."
"But we'll be gone for six weeks...what are we going to wear?"
"We're going to buy clothes when we get there."
"WHAT??  The pictures I saw of you and Richard on your trip to Nepal - you were wearing your "western" clothes."
"Yep, and that's the lesson we learned.  We said next time we went to Nepal (or India or Bhutan) we were only going to take a couple of outfits and buy the rest of our clothes when we got there. It's so much better that way - plus, I think it's a sign of cultural respect."
"But, how will people know we're tourists?"
"Mom, believe me - I don't think people will mistake us for anything BUT tourists."
"Your're probably right....they can tell we aren't from their country because (wait for it...hehehe) we are so tall."
"Yeeeaaaah, well, we'll probably give them a couple of other clues too.... like... we don't speak their language, we're pretty pale, we'll be taking pictures of everything and we have NO CLUE how to tie a saree, a kira or a chuba."
"HUH...tie a what???"
"Trust me Ma, we'll be just fine.  I'll send you pictures."

Mom, this is a SAREE :-)

I say TOMATO - you say TAMATAR

Earlier this morning, I wrote a blog entry detailing my 'concerns' about possible cultural faux pas I (and my Mother) may unintentionally make while traveling through Bhutan, Nepal and India. .  Guess what?  Three and a half months before even leaving the United States and I've possibly already made a cultural faux pas - by writing about my possible faux pas.  My goodness - this trip is going  to be interesting.

My intention is to detail our trip - from the planning stages to the actual travel experience to how we acclimate ALL we learn into our daily lives once we come back home.  I want to write not only about what we are doing, but what we are thinking - what makes us nervous, what makes us excited, what we are concerned about before we leave and whether or not those concerns are valid once we arrive overseas.

But if I am TOTALLY honest, perhaps the true intention of this blog is to show that no matter our age, no matter our religion, no matter if we live in Alaska, Kansas, Thimphu, Kathmandu, Delhi or Varanassi - we are basically ALL the same.  We all want the same thing out of life.  We want to be happy.

So, I apologize in advance if anything I write causes anyone unhappiness.  I am sure over the following months I will write about the cultural differences (real and perceived) between our countries.  It will NEVER be with the intention to judge.  It will merely be to try and understand the differences.  Because once we understand something, we immediately identify with it - there is no longer an "US" and "THEM" - there is only a "WE". 

The "PLAN"

Oftentimes, life never quite turns out the way we planned.  That is neither good or bad, it just is.  For the past few years, the television station I work at has been for sale.  I have said many prayers over those years knowing a new owner would be the BEST thing for the station.  I also knew a new owner would equal a 98.5 percent probability that I would be out of a job.  Well, my prayers were answered.  And as far as that "probability"?  My last day at the station will be July 26th.
 
So....what is my plan as far as my next job is concerned?  I'm not quite sure.  I knew I wanted to take some time off to re-group, re-ground and re-energize.  I also thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to spend sometime with my Mother.  I floated the idea past her.

"Hey....how about 'trip of a lifetime' experience together?"
Without missing a beat, my 70-ish year old Mom said, "SURE.....where to?"
"Bhutan, Nepal and India.  Six weeks.  We can meet our Dharma family members face-to-face, see where Buddha became enlightened, experience the Land of Happiness.  I can show you Kathmandu and why I LOVE Nepal so much.  We can spend the night in a monastery, bathe in a Holy river, take yoga lessons, get henna tattoos, go to the largest camel festival in Asia, see cows in the streets and try a cup of Tibetan butter tea!!"

Her ONLY concern....."I can't sleep on straw.  I'm going to need a bed."  YOU GOT IT MA!!

That's how THIS plan started.  We have our tickets and we are 113 days away from leaving.  I thought a travel blog would be a good idea for "oh....so many" reasons :-)  No matter your age, race or where you live in this big-wide world....if you are a 'daughter' and your Mother is still alive, you KNOW the complexities of the MOTHER-DAUGHTER relationship.  I write that with a giggle...but only because it is sooooo true!!  I love my Mom more than anything - and I know she loves me - but that doesn't mean we don't have our 'moments'.  Now....let's throw in six weeks together in Asia (Oh, mercy!!).  I'm sure there are going to be events that happen - things that are so crazy, I couldn't make them up if I tried.  Like today.  And the discussion of underwear.

Mom asked, "Ahhhh, what do we do about underwear?  Can we get laundry done?"
"Yeah, there are laundry services but they won't wash our underwear...we'll have to do that ourselves."
"Or", mom replied, "We can buy disposable underwear."
"Like paper?  Let me be really clear Mom, I am NOT wearing paper underwear."
"No...like DEPENDS, I hear they are quite comfortable."
"OK...let me repeat.  We are NOT wearing paper underwear and we are NOT wearing Depends.  For the love of God, we can just buy underwear there if we need to."
"Oh, we can buy underwear there?"  She said it like perhaps she didn't think underwear was actually something you could buy in a foreign country.  "OK", she continued, "but I think I still might bring some Depends.  Believe me, if we are somewhere without a bathroom in site, you'll be begging me for a pair."

I can imagine a lot of things happening on this trip.  Me begging for a pair of Depends is NOT one of them.